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benshane

hehhee... its much prettier..

seeya there...

whoever... reads this blog.. lol

p.s., ...nevermind

Here's a letter sealed and sent,

From whenever where he went,

Sown in ink for eyes to reap,

On brittle page all hers to keep.

Here's the dreams ambitions broke,

Words he kept and never spoke,

Scribbled in an unruly hand,

Courage found in a blue pen.

Here's his body in a bag,

In exchange one last look back,

Her quiet curls her un-blue eyes,

He’ll bury here before he flies.

Here's the pictures in his head,

Memories she might have made,

Whispering what-if's he has sold, 

Creases where the pages fold.

Heres the half-way written book,

Whose end was lost when he awoke.

Actually put effort into writing this one here. Hope y'all like it =] cheers!

another one

Here's to,
Another friend who's going away,
One I'll see some distant day,
Seems its going to be quiet,
Til end of instant noodle diet.


Journey mercies,
and god speed,
Happy studies,
and don't bleed.




for all those monkeys in Uk

pictures and stories

The pictures posted up,
Only make the miles that separate,
Seem so much further.
cuz i wish that i were in them.

The stories that I hear,
Only make the time I've spent away,
Seem so much longer.
Cuz I wish i were in them.....

But don't stop putting up those pictures,

So i can see whos cut or dyed their hair,
See how tall some of the boys have grown,
And who's still wearing the same shirts,
like i remember.

And tell me all the stories....

Like who's taking who to the prom,
Or the one who rode a bike right off the clift,
And roadtrips and sleepovers,
like i remember.



i'll be back, dec 6th. stop asking. =]

pling plang

the stronghold falls from within,
by the hand that it let in.

if you live, you might die.

Another Flipping draft.

Sunlight fails at five right now,
Been wondering where, been wondering how.

o wandering wondering where you are,
o wandering wondering how are you....

i'm fine thank you...hope you are too... call me....

Taken flight, shes gone home,
And I'm still here, but I'm alone.

o i'll wait here til you come back,
o hurry time is just crawling by....

call me ok? ... when you land... hahaha...

-Draft-

hello winter!
I've decided,
I'll write a lil more! run a commentary after the post!
okok... i know some of the song like bloddy emo.. but i've got a nice tune, melody in my head for em. this one has a pluckish (noob) sorta tune following it on guitar. One fine day, i'll write one finish la =]

just finished my final assignment, and it looks so spanking good... oh... stim...!

POST ASSIGNMENT ADRENALINE!!!

oh ya...

still got 3 papers. sigh....

cheers everyone!

don't

and all these things we have are broken,
but all these things we held were dear...

don't you go and close your eyes.....
cuz i can't promise i won't close my own...

don't you go and look surprised..
cuz you saw this coming all along...


-draft-

since you all say quiet

feels like

Where does a wish go? Where does a dream go? Nowhere.

Feels like I ain't got a pulse,
This heart is too heavy to beat,
This heart is too broken to bleed.

Feels like I ain't got a clue,
Every thing's too screwed to repair,
Every thing's too lost to be there.

Feels like I ain't got a care,
These legs gonna take me away,
These legs ain't gonna betray.

Feels like I ain't got a brain,
Feels like every thing's going to shit again,
Feels like just before your car goes up in flames,
Feels like nothings changed but nothings the same..

Oh damn, I feel like I don't like these feelings.
Oh pray, I feel like not feeling anything at all....

shhhh..... the porridge is going cold

So she said.....

Remember when i first told you, I did..
My heart couldn't beat til you said...

Remember when, we realized we're more then just good friends?
Can't forget the feeling when we held each other's hands
So she said, 'I think we're taking things just a little too fast'
I agreed, Cuz I just want this thing with us to last.

We gotta be meant for something more,
Cuz I spent two weeks silence on the floor....

So she said, we're not meant to fall in love so quickly,
But too late, I don't think we're anything but to be,
Then she said, we're not meant for broken promises are we now,
Maybe so, but believe in me and you, and we can be us..

We gotta be meant for something more,
Cuz I spent two weeks silence on the floor....
i need to see your smile,
i need to see your smile,
i need to see your smile like sunshine...

Wonder when, is the time to tell the girl you love you do...
Heaven knows, but it feels so right every time I'm here with you..
So she said, we're not meant to fall in love so easily,
But too late we're already on the train to somewhere... far away..


C

work in progress

sorry for not updating this blog for so long,
i know you've all been waiting for a song,
but i've been writing one for awhile now,
but its still not quite right, somehow.

so don't you worry, i'm all good,
i haven't died or lost my mood.

i promise that i'll post it soon,
and maybe make somebody swoon.

rough draft - who makes me stupid

cuz you,
who makes me stupid,

smile, and i won't think,
talk, and i'll believe,
laugh, and i'll forget,
breathe, and I won't.

cuz you,
who makes me stupid.

Silence

Its too quiet,
I think too loudly.
Its too quiet,
And I grow anxious.

I wait,
Patiently,
Then impatiently.
Always anxious.

the moments go so slowly,
they steal sleep from me,
they steal peace from me,
stolen from me,

Where time stands still,
Where I can't sit still,
Where I wrest my will,
Where waiting kills.

hurry, i miss you,
hurry, i miss you,

its far too quiet, between your words,
its far too long, between your words.

another draft: Titled, Rainbow? hmm

C
O my Soul screams within me,
Break into a million pieces,
But you hold me in this fragile moment,

And just so I know,
I can see a rainbow when the storm clears...

V
Though my strength fails within me,
Though I fall and I lose sight,
Though my heart may break in anguish,
And I lose my ways and hopes..

By your words, you can't forsake me,
And so you hold me in this fragile moment,

And your joy will be my strength,
And you will light my ways,
And your love is all a heart will need,
And all hope is found in you..

C2
O my Soul sings within me,
Praise the name of my redeemer,
Because hes came in my darkest hour,

And just so i know,
I can see a rainbow when the storm clears...

B
Praise the Lord, O my soul,
All my inmost being praise his holy name..
Praise the Lord, O my soul,
Praise His holy name...


a very rough draft. has a tune to it in my head that seems to sound like chris daughty's "home" hmm... working on it.

See

see you, i see nothing else,
look and lose a breath,
blink, and skip a beat.

see guys, i see green,
see him, i see red,


don't see you, i'll lose sight,
see you once more i'll forget....


see, love,
makes you blind, makes you see things,
makes you kind, makes moods see -saw.

see, i told you so.
see what?
shuddup and close your eyes.


alls fair in love and war.

Whos the Donkey

For what its worth, forgive me,
I'm careless, I forget,

I didn't pay attention, now you're a million miles away..

Forgive me, I didn't say goodbye,
I fell down the day you had to fly...

I didn't pay attention, now theres so little words to say..

For what its worth, forgive me,
I'm stupid, donkey.

heartless, brainless

If I don't love you, I have no heart,
But if I don't stop, I have no brain.


hush..

sealed

the letter is sealed,
and so is fair hopes,
mistake it may be,
heart break anyway.

goodbye, goodnight girl,
my leave be taken,
into sunlight i venture with eyes closed,
because I'll believe anyway.

patiently,
yet my heart races,
quietly,
yet my pulse rises.

forlorn, forgo,
calamity behold,
i see you.

goodbye, goodnight girl,
I venture into daylight,
with eyes closed.

the Girl Acoss

NOTE: this is strictly a work of fiction.

Watching her through an open window,
She is my favorite TV show,
I'm not sure if she knows,
She is my favorite TV show...

Shes likes to work on her computer,
I like to sit back at look at her,
And once and once in a while,
Catch me off guard with a smile...

I know its rude of me to stare,
But i do, do you really really care?
Its not like you hang out in your underwear,
Don't mind me, pretend I'm not even there..

Its good fun to watch her do funny exercises,
And its hard not to watch when she undresses...
I kinda hope she doesn't know, I see her,
But if she knew she doesn't show, I wonder...

I wonder what you're thinking,
When she looks like shes laughing,
And how down she must be feeling,
When she cries and when shes tearing..

I know I have a pretty pervy hobby,
But if you ever saw her,
You'd only see a pretty sexy body,
I only wait for her to smile...

See, i don't care what she is or isn't wearing,
Or the song i can't hear that shes singing,
I just smile when i see her smiling,
Oh, her smile is simply captivating...

Apologies, don't be alarmed!
Really please!, i mean no harm!
Honestly, your smiles the charm!

I could've but i only took one picture,
Of her smiling at the computer,
It makes me think and wonder,
Can you fall for perfect strangers..

hush (draft)

I'd take it back so we can be, maybe,
If I could turn it back to see, baby,

How could I see it when I closed my eyes;
How could you tell me now when it's too late,

I could, but I never fought, for you,
Don't ask, if I ever thought, us two,
Daring you, to take that chance,
and I say, "only more than once"

hush for fear, knowing, me and you,
his heart for us we might undo,
hush for fear, knowing me and you,
what we might think, then feel, then do.

So hush forever me and you,
Pretend you didn't when you do,
Hush forever,
Me and you,
I'll close my eyes, so do you.

like a fart

you're like a fart
i have to keep it in when theres others around.
when i let it out, i feel good.
but then it stinks up the whole place.

you're like a fart...

kawan

hei kawan-kawan ku,
kau masih lagi dekat di hati,
walau tersebar jauh ke luar negeri...

hei kawan-kawan ku,
bukan senang hendak terlupa,
akan kenang-kenangan kita bersama..

hei kawan-kawan ku,
mungkin jumpa gila lama lagi,
boleh tahan, dah simpan bakyak memori..

kawan,
kawan-kawan janganlah terberat hati,

hati,
hati-hati sampai bertemu lagi,

lagi,
lagi-lagi masa akan cepat pergi,

pergi,
pergi pergi tapi ingatlah janji,

janji,
janji-janji nanti satu hari,

hari,
hari-hari sampai kita kembali....





wat am i thinkin? u tell me! i dunno

untitled

Say,
I know we've gone our ways,
Know,
Can't let you go..

Break,
The promises you didn't make,
So,
I'll never have to know...

You know theres hope in all of us,
But some, have a little less,
We don't have to really know,
Just look back and say, I said so..

I said so...

Today,
We've got nothing left to say,
Maybe,
But we'll have to wait and see

Take,
The smile that gives me heartache,
Try,
So hard just not to cry...

because,
you are the things I do regret,
in memories i can't forget..

Shit Song (rough draft)

Capo on first fret

F-C-G-C

this is a song about shit,
so dun hope for something sweet..

(edited version, replace all shits with SPITs)

Check my mail once again, but its just full of shit,
Cuz there ain't news,not a single word for me, from you..

Take a walk 'round the city, the people look like shit,
A million faces, but not one has a smile like yours on it..

My friends they say, move right on,
She ain't worth heartache that loong,
Don't bother tell me to let go,
What the heck Do you know..

I'll write you letter, and sometimes songs, but its all just a load of shit,
Cuz they won't tell you how I feel, not one bit...

You can't really make a shit,
Til you've had something to eat,
You and I may end up shit,
but onceupon, weren't we sweet...

oh... shit... oh... shit...
this beating heart ain't made for
this beating heart can't take,
no beating..

Thinking Abt You

I couldn't sleep well for days,
Missing you in little ways...

You think of me, do you?

C
Nothing I can do,
When I'm thinking about you,
Nothing I can't do,
When I'm thinking about you,
Nothing I can't do,
But try not to think of you...

Haven't eaten since what,
Might be yesterday at noon,

you'll write back, won't you soon..

Bridge:
I'm missin yoouuuuuu (repeat and repeat and repeat)


This is the first time I've written music to the song so the melody is abit lame but who gives a damn what you think anyway... haha... no la... i do la.... dun angry... I'm just kidding... =\ neways.. tell me what you think...

Capo on first fret, relative chords to capo

A - xo222oo
E - o221ooo
D - xxo23o
A*-xo22ooo
D*-xxo232

intro:
D - A - E (x2 or x3 or wtv makes ur tea)

Verse:
A E
D ->A

Chorus:
E D
E A

Bridge: (i dunno what there chords are called.. haha.. but they cover the whole bridge line)
xx64oo
xx76oo
xx97oo

p.s. I have a plucking intro that i just dunno how to tab, but be my guest and try anyway!

Hope

To hope to much is suicide,
No hope at all is grim,
Too much hope is a broken promise,
But none at all is sin,

Take a wish and make believe,
Cuz anything is possible,
Shooting stars are falling stars,
Falling stars are falling stars,

To hope at all is desperate,
No hope at all but fate,
Too much hope makes perfect sense,
But none at all is crazy...

who said things are meant to be,
who said we're meant for greater things,
who said life's a mystery?

So don't look so surprised,
When dreams fade to open eyes..

dananadan da dana nana naa..

bah

Sit and stare at the screen that i know,
I need the sleep but my body won't go...

Cuz shes here on my mind,
Unkind memories, and let be's,
I swear I'll go blind,
By the sight of you with closed eyes.


I'm in need,
In need of some distraction,
I can't sleep,
Cuz I might dream an attraction...
I don't think,
Cuz she's always on my imagination..


i don't need a picture,
when the memories are so clear,
i don't need to love her,
but the heart dun get any wiser...

tear a tear from your eyes,
to steal the pain from replies,
too slow and short for comfort,
to take from heart the hurt.


closed eyes see so much better,
clenched fists are so much better,
when it really doesn't matter,
it really doesn't matter...

distract me from you...

tonight

Six and I'm rushing out the gate,
Hope the traffic won't make me late,
Cuz I've got to make it for a date.

They didn't say who they were from,
They said but lets go to the prom....

So she agreed,
not knowing who'd she meet...

Take one breath then hold that in,
Count to ten, on two I'm going in,
With blazer, flowers, and stupid grin..

See her dad and I say hi,
If he frowns i may just die,
but he lets me in, what a guy..

Sister, brother, sister see me,
Stare and gape cuz it can't be,
But i didn't come to see you three..

Then she sees me face to face,
There's too much too little space,
And my heart begin to start a race..

Lose my eyes inside her eyes,
As she's squealing in surprise,
All dressed up shes looking, nice..!

I'm sorry but I'll just stare,
Love the way she's done her hair,
And she's only over there!

Shes so lovely in her red dress,
Shes so pretty in her red dress,
Shes a hotty in her red dress,
And its making me a mess,
And my thoughts start to digress,
Today I'm the one god chose to bless..

hush, the evenings things are only for me,
shush, the talking about the lady,
leave it between beauty and me,
leave it as a perfect memory....

i owe god a perfect evening,
i thank me for flawless planning,
without grace this won't be happening,
without Her this won't have meaning.....

just one night, we made it Tonight,
you were such a beautiful sight,
with all my heart with all my might,
i wish i may, i wish i might....

Green Eyes

I don't want to have you on my mind,
When he's got you talking on the line,
We don't need to play these games,
Pretending and not saying names..

I'm sick of this love triangle,
Theres just so much to untangle,
This Rivalry's gonna show the worst of me,
Two is too many to love just one she...

I love him like a brother,
I love her like no other,
Anybody else come love her,
But you're gonna break my heart...

Knowing what they say behind my back,
My friends, my friends behind my back,
And how can they lie right to my face,
taking your deception with a measure of grace,

turn around now,
look away now,
I'll be gone before you realize,
How much I've come to despise..

(yet love)

Teach me to hate as much as I loved,
Take, everything held dear and beloved...

Darewish (incomplete)

I darewish you would come find me now,
I darewish you knew how i feel somehow.

Moonlit Beach...

Were like a dream, you and I,
Woke up, didn't say goodbye,
Know we can't be, you and I,
Just so you don't wonder why...

Just only got to know your name,
On moonlit beaches anything will go,
Can't stop, playing this crazy game,
On a moonlit beach it'll never do.

All you'll hold is my hands tonight,
Take of your arms cuz it ain't right,
Don't lean in so damn close,
And rub to mine your nose..

You're sober, are you sure you want this?
I'm sober, why can't I stop your kiss...

But it feels so empty,
You're not somebody,
This just can't be,
Don't you be angry.

Just found out that I don't feel the same,
On moonlit beaches anything may go,
Don't play love like it is just a game,
On a moon lit beach this'll never do.

Its to late now to make amends,
You and i, and an awkward silence,
Ever silently like a tomb,
As i walk you back to your room,

tonight's long past, i won't see you again.
tonight I must, leave a note for the pain.

thanks and sorry for all this,
thanks and sorry for the kiss,

never had a night like this,
never took a stranger's kiss...

Based on a series of peculiar events,
On a moonlit beach, far far away.

You kinda ...

You kinda,
Remind me about someone I sort of remember,
She was fun and full of joy,
While I was me, just a boy.

She used to laugh at almost anything,
She said I was a little very amusing,
Don't you think, I wouldn't forget,
But you're the one that I just met!

and you really kinda remind me...

You kinda,
Got a smile, I sorta saw plenty of somewhere,
She used to smile more then she'd talk,
And she skipped more then she'd walk.

Her eyes they said a million things,
And yours have got me wondering,
Don't you think, I wouldn't forget,
But you're the one that I just met!

and you really kinda remind me...

You kinda,
Got you hair across a face, sorta familiar,
She used to let her hair just fall,
Loved to watch it in the wind in fall.

I don't know what to do with this,
I don't think I'm ready to miss,
To find again, a soul I've lost,
To fall again and know the cost,

but you really do remind meee...

of someone just like you.

Bard's Song - Good Friday

Here's a tale told and told,
Of a man's end t'was bold,
Queer it was, this man who came,
To heal the cripple, blind, and lame,
Queerer still some may say,
Peasants ransom, a prince to pay.

In Quiet Gethsemane, already betrayed,
The selfless one wept and prayed,
Knowing t'was to come, his sweat ran red,
For worthless sinners he divinely bled.

t'was Judas Iscariot, infamous traitor,
Bought he brought a many of His foe,
With anger, hate, both torch and sword,
They came with chains and bound the Lord,
Quietly yet he went hither,
But a mere lamb to its slaughter..

Tonight, heaven's host sing a terribly sad song,
After t'morrow, three days are gonna be too long.

Here's to and epic tale, both so sweet and bitter,
For me and you, died once the savior..

I've Got....

Got me seven holes in my head,
but none that'll house a bullet.
Got me a heart full of blood,
but it's running dry on regret.

Got me six more fingers then ears,
but I can't keep the silence out.
Got me such a good memory,
I don't even want to find out.

Got me a dozen empty hours,
but i've got them all to myself.
Got me a reallly big mouth,
Which ain't much use to health.

I've got me too many choices,
But there was ever only one,
I've got too many voices,
but I know you're the only one..

the only one who can, will you,
Save me from myself...
because you are the only one who can..
Who can stop me thinkin,
Who can stop me thinkin,

about what, who, where, and how
and why~

why the hell is everything like this?
and you'll be the only thing I miss..

i've got no reason to listen, even to myself.
i've got memories i'll keep on a dusty shelf.
i've got a good chance of being struck by lightening.

i've got no idea, if you do, then you do, but i don't think you do...

Just..

You champion the ones who cannot fly,
Maybe that why I'm barely getting by.

Just when I don't want to,
you remind me just why i try.
Just when I don't want to,
you make it so easy to cry.

Just when I lose it,
you make sense of it all,
Just when I'm lost,
you catch me before i can fall.

Just when I startin' to hate,
You make me care all the more,
Just when I've set a date,
I remember what all this was for.

for your convenience

Somethings amiss, with a picture in my head,
Its not blur, crystal clear, but somethings out of place,
Something unexplainable, cuz it just cannot be said,
Something to do with that smile on your pretty face...

Have hope and dream on,
Give up but hold on,
I know I don't belong around you..

Somethings amiss, with words I keep hearing,
Its not blur crystal clear, but somethings out of place,
Something unexplainable, cuz it just cannot be said,
Something to do with him over at your place...

Have hope and dream on,
Give up but hold on,
I know I don't belong with you...

Somethings amiss, with how you seem so distant,
Somethings amiss, about the friendly intent,
Somethings amiss, do I want to learn?
Why my messages just don't return...

Have hope and dream on, Give up but hold on,
I know I don't belong around you,
I know I don't belong with you,
I know I don't belong,
I know I don't belong,
but somehow I belong to you.

Just another long roundabout way,
For me, for me to say,
I love you and I'm jealous,
I care but I'm so careless..

Despair Pt. 1

We were born to surprise and to live,
We were made to trust and believe,
We were thought to hope and to dream,
And we were more then keen.

But what if we can't DO it anymore,
When what if's become what for's,
We tried, I swear, I tried my best,
But I can't, so give me endless rest,
Give me somewhere I can hide,
From dreams that eat me from inside.

So what'll it be at dreams end,
Will we break or just bend,
When everything falls apart,
Despair? or will you find heart.

Wake up to the nightmares,
Find out, if you really dare,
When all falls to pieces,
And Prayers, feel like wishes.

the fairytale ballad

[This is a Ballad]

Shes got the face you'd but on magazines,
Shes got a body that could mold for mannequins,
Shes got a personality and a beautiful sweet heart,
And now her fairy tale's about to staaarrtt...

Heres to!
You're happy ending!
Three Cheers!
For your happy years, to come!
Today!
You're living Every~Bodies dreeaaammm...

You've found the perfect gentleman,
Complete with shinning armor and a tan,
Your Prince Charming's tall and stronger,
And'll carry you into happily ever after...

Chorus>
Heres to!
You're happy ending!
Heres to!
You're happy ending!
Heres to!
You're happy ending!

I swore, I'd be happy for your bliss,
Just give me one thing, I'll say please..
Ride far away into the sunset,
To find joys you haven't met.

Chorus>

Bridge>
Forget me not, where you may go...
He'll take you to Paris and Rome,
Remember, remember, when I walked you home!
home!
hoommeeeee...!
Chorus>

may you fairytale never ever end,
a Disney classic from beginning til the end,

[Sing bitterly]

So a smile will only ever leave your lips....

Guy~
Girl~
Together~

Baby I will never hear you sing,
But If god blessed you with hearing,
Baby you'd sing like the angels,
Baby you'd sing with the angels...

Baby you'll never hear the sound of my voice,
But If God let me whisper, and God let you hear,
"Baby I love you..."
"Baby I love you..."

Baby we were born to a world of dead silence,
Never to hear the words of another,
But baby God blessed us, he gave us each other..
Baby I never heard you laugh,
But I'll never have to hear you cry~~~..

So a smile will only ever leave your lips...
So baby a smile will only ever leave your lips..

Baby I'll never know the sound of your voice,
If your voice were as sweet as your smile...
Like the one you show me,
The smile I'll ever see...

Baby you'll never hear me say "I love you"
So a smile will just have to do,
You'll ever see my smile,
Cuz baby, you always make me smi~le...

Baby we were born to a world of dead silence,
Never to hear the words of another,
But baby God blessed us, he gave us each other..

So baby a smile will only ever leave your lips...
So baby a smile will only ever leave your lips..

So baby a smile,
So baby a smile,
a smile will only ever leave your lips...
will only ever leave your lips....

This here song is dedicated to the sweetest most beautiful couple I've ever met, and they're both stone deaf...
http://benshane.multiply.com/journal/item/9 for more about them...

heres to... the ones who'll never hear another...

Another blow to the fallen

here we go again..
the same old circle of pain,
another blow to the fallen,

And they'll say, what I know,
"Just let it all go...."
And they'll state the obvious,
"You're merely and friend of hers..."

here we go again...
Its driving me insane,
another blow to the fallen,

And I know just what they'll say,
"Everything's gonna be okay.."
And they'll tell me, what i know,
"There's nothing you can do"

here we go again...
again n' again n' again...
another blow to the fallen...

And I'll tell me and try to believe,
"Perhaps, maybe, and what if.."
And bite back the tears and pray,
"Oh god, maybe, one day...."

here we go one last time..
the final blow to the fallen...

murder me

blood on your hands,
blade in my heart,
i'll bleed through my soul,
wash yourself clean...

You come to me, mercy,
You came only wanting,
I'll give you everything i had,
For a smile, don't you be sad..

chorus:
Murder me quickly,
Murder me quietly,
Murder me gently,
Murder me while I'm unaware..

You took what you came for,
You got what you wanted now...
You filled me up with questions,
You killed me with the answers...

No harm done, they say i'll survive..
It'll only burn when i breath..
...through that hole you put in my chest...

now nobody's saying it could be helped,
i cared for you, just so did everyone..
theres nothing wrong 'cept i'll bleed, i bled,
nobodies fault i fell for your smile,
did i now,
did i now...
did.. i... now...

Dream Come True?

Hello dear stranger, are you free now,
Can we meet somewhere somehow...
Just so we can talk and take a walk,
And I wanna say...

Something on my mind that I've hidden in my heart,
A secret that could make me, or tear me all apart...

Then I hesitate and say..

I care for you more then words can say,
Til "I love you" just barely do betray,
This feeling that I feel inside,
That kills me just to hide...

Your eyes glow bright and you blush so deep,
The same secret from me, you had to keep,
Overjoyed your heart explodes, remember,
This moment, it'll last forever.....


wake with a frightening start,
wake with a racing heart,
wake with you oceans apart,

do i ever cross your mind sometimes... i wonder,
but don't think i want to know.....

[stepping out] draft

Oh god, singing from my heart
A song I’ve never heard before
Oh-oh, strange words spill from my lips
With strange certainty….

Stand out in the storm
Call me to you
I’ll step into chaos
Into the darkness and unseen

But I’ll thread the abyss
Walk the surface of nightmares
You hold me up
Over my fears my doubts

Step by step, over certain doom
Step by step, yet I won’t fall
Won’t sink

Stand upon a raging sea, I’m not worried,
Face the roaring wind, if can’t hold me
I’m coming to you
I’m coming to you

the syndrome

catch a whisper, make a wish,
your dreams they wun come true....
watch a star go out, with supernova,
but never hear a sound....

listen to your heart watch all your hopes remain unfinished,
follow, make the crowd smile, lose your dreams along the way,

torn between wants and what you should have,
choose between desire and what must done,
tell yourself you're happy and smile..
cuz everything we're meant for...
wonder why we're all here anyway...

catch a dream, write a story,
in a movie they'll come true..
watch a rainbow, chase it til the end,
there's no pot of gold for you.

Right Me

You hold the world in your hands,
Yet there's space for me in your arms,
You see everything, and more,
And yet you're watchin over me.

v1
But i will fall...
And Slip from your embrace,
With sins and all...
Til i can't bear to meet your face...

:C:
but a grain of sand,
held in your hands,
yet i will never slip between your fingers,
no matter how this sinner errs...

v2
So i will soar,
With borrowed wings from you,
I'll fail some more,
All my wrongs you rightt, my brokeness undo...

b
heyy... i'll fall, you'll catch me...
woah.. i'll soar, you'll make me...
Shape me from a million bits of nothing,
you make me whole!


i hav the feeling liek very corny when i write this... lolz

that other reality

Wondrin how things could hav been,
If we saw things that lay unseen,
Dun be held back by old regrets,
live for the fate we havn't met...

But If I could, If you could,
Wouldn't you turn back time,
Just to get another chance...

Another chance to...
Say all those things you held in side,
Do all those things you didn't think of,
Take back words you wished you never said,
And undo so many things you did without thinkin...

Another chance...
And maybe, things would turn out for the best,

Cuz lookin back everyones never knew,
lookin back, there was the chance that was let past,
lookin back, things you can't undo, ever..

to look back but not to care,
to look up and not get scared, at all,
to look forward to anything at all,
don't hold back anything.... dun fall....

~+[bleed]+~

~+[i]+~
Standing at the edge of something,
Hold my breath and shut my eyes,
Cuz I lost the path I was taking,
And now I've lost my perfect disguise...

~+[v1]+~
Step into nothing,
feel Your heart stop when you leave the ground,
fAll, only dreaming,
Scream but don't make a sound.....

~+[c]+~
I tried to hold on,
But all along my hands were empty,
I cried for someone,
But you didn't care, you let me be
I lied to go on,
But somehow I was let astay by me..

~+[v2]+~
Endlessly falling,
This'll be as close I'll get to flying,
Leave, everything,
Say I don't give a damn...

~+[c]+~

~+[b]+~
So I bled for no one,
And for hoping I was undone,
Cuz all alooongg,
There was nothing there at all.....

Pondering in the Car

Slowly turn into the driveee~way...
Knowin you know i'm not okay...

Kill the engine, kill the lights...
Remebering my sleepless nights...

Watch the raindrops the window...
Watch the minutes pass so slow...

Close my eyes turn off the phone,
Cuz i'd rather be all alone...

Wondrin what I should say, Should I say anything at all....

I'll sit in my car awhile,
Cuz its gettin harder just to smile,
And I dun think I'll take your calls,
Now its just so hard to bare it all....

Countin raindrops on the window,
Close my eyes and watch the time go..
Knowin somehow that we both know,
But those lil words they just wun flow...

Oh luck and hope forsake me,
Oh misery be mine...

perhaps one day we shall,
perhaps one day we'll tell....

just wat was on our minds,
.....in our hearts....

but not tonight

Angst

Lets not get emotional; I'll tell you what,
We'll put our feelings in a box and lock it far away.
Lets not get emotional; I'll tell you what,
Bore a hole right through my chest and fill it up with sand.

Don't tell me whats impossible,
I just need a great big box with keyless locks,
And the heart is either left or right you can't miss twice....

Shout at me for all you're worth,
Scream at me until you curse,
But I wun even feel a tinge of angry...

Lets not get emotional,
We'll solve it all bein logical,
The only part of you which thinks is your stupid head,
So just screw the rest of you consider feelings dead.

Lets not get emotinal,
Only nuts think with their two balls,
And can't tell the difference between love and lust,
Don't you know you're own heart ain't something you can trust.

Lets not get emotional,
They make you cry when you dun fall,
They get you hooked on television dramas,
and care so much about fictional characters.

Lets not get emotional,
Save money on the phone calls,
Cuz when you're all alone who really cares,
Cuz i'm pretty good at solitaire.

Damn it all these feelings,
Anger, Hate, Remorse, and Jealousy,
Love, and Hope, and selfish Pity,
All they do is get the best of me,

So curse you oh my beating heart,
I can't even rip you out,
Cuz i don't know where to start,
Pickin up the million piece; scatterred all about.

Sad Dreamy Girl's are Ok

See the girl whos all alright,
Nothing's wrong, Everything's okay....
A little tired, slept late last night,
Is all she ever has to say...

But it's not books that kept her up,
She won't sleep at night so she can dream all day.....

so
She'll close her eyes, so she won't let cry..
She'll hold her hands, so they won't try...
She'll purse her lips, never have to say goodbye...

And while she dreams with eyes closed,
She can't see all she has in sight...
Cuz just within arms reach, is
Everything she'd wish for at night..
she won't say a whisper,
She'd rather keep it all inside...

C:
Oh, girl open your eyes,
Cuz there more to see then lies.
Oh, girl open your hands,
They'll do so much more then try..
Oh, let out a smile,
And the heaven's just might sigh..


Oh little girl have cheer,
Oh little girl have joy....
Oh little girl do hear,
The song of a silly boy....

temporarily untitled

Hurts too much to stand,
So empty are my hands,
Cuz all they'll hold is me,
And all this misery...

Know,
There's more then meets your eyes,
Inside I can't believe good byes...

C:
Can't hold what you can't see,
Why can't I let go, you and me...
So wrong it can't be,
So right, its not free...

See,

The stars... and how they fade,
For all those tears you've shed,
Tonight.....

Hear,

The sound, when everything falls down,

Come crashing all around...
Tonight...

Say.....

Nothing, Cuz I can read your head,
Before wats said is said,
Tonight....

Hooold,

My haaand,

Just because we can....

Tonight...

Pray,
The feeling, won't ever die,
Won't turn out to be a lie...

Tonight...

Liiieee...down....
Won't think....
Eyes blind...
Ears closed...
Lips tied....
Hands crossed...

Hopes................. Alive!!

ANy title suggestions?

a little way-too-late...

This is a little late,
Almost two years since you've been gone.
At any rate,
Feels like forever since you've been gone.

Pre- C:
And I can't say I won't miss you,
And I won't say I can't see you,


Cuz you're here in pictures on my wall,
Cuz you're here in memories I recall,
Still have the letters I wrote, but never sent,
Still have the secrets I kept, before you went...

You used to be a whisper away,
Now you're an ocean and a sea away.
I used to see you everyday,
But now you just seem so far away.


B:
This is a little way-too-late,
But all I've ever done to-date,
Sometimes I wished I said,
My heart just didn't get past my head....

This is a little way-too-late,
But I really wished you'd stayed.....

NOTE: This song is still missing all the verses. Will be completed SAWILI (aS And When I Like It)

Ps. thank you all who have been so supportive of my writing. =]

What Was

So long ago,
We were young,
& so innocent.
Not a care in the world,
But each other,
I asked if you'd wed me,
You said lets grow up and see....

C
See us together from the back,
You in your white dress, and I in black,
Its just a dream, but I'm a dreamer,
Don't wake me up, I like it here.

We grew up,
but we're still young,
no longer naive,
The world now unkind,
I hadd my guys, and you your girlfriends,
But we found ourselves in want,
Still trying to grow up and be...

C:
See us together from behind,
Why am I holding your hand in mine,
Its just a dream, but I'm a dreamer,
Don't wake me up, I like it here.

We graduated,
when we were young,
You got into harvard,
While I stayed here,
Studied local, thought you'd return,
But with so much to study,
You stayed over the sea...

C:
See us together in a chapel,
Why isn't there other people,
Its just a dream, but I'm a dreamer,
Don't wake me up, I like it here.

All grown up,
My hearts still young,
& still so in love,
Hope you remember,
But I hear from you, in Christmas cards,
Why won't you reply my mail?
Maybe its cuz I heard you got engaged...

C:
See your eyes are closed,
And you look so composed,
Is this a dream? Feels so unreal,
Don't wake me up, It feels so real.

All alone now,
Wishin I was young,
Hoping to see you,
Praying you'd come back,
Just one more time,
See you eye to eye,
Cuz you never really said good bye.

See me crying over you,
You're cold and blue,
Its a nighmare, yet so real,
Don't wake me up,

I'm at a funeral.......

DRAFT

Notice how,
She finds hard to smile,
Cuz its been awhile.

Everytime,
She seems so happy,
Yet somehow it feels empty.

C
Because just beneath her skin,
Lie her hopes and pains, lost within,
But she wun share her sorrows, or say,
not ever not today,

So sad, so different the girl i see,
So lonely, so unkind the world can be...
So she puts on a smile and laugh,
So she acts all strong and lookin tough,

Hopin we can't see,
Through her eyes her misery...


v1
And if you'd look a little closer, you'd see,
Why her eyes just seem extra shiney,
Is she alright,
Were you crying last night?

v2
And if you'd look a little closer, you'd see,
Everything that shes wished she could be,
Is she okay,
Do you think you could say?



Confused and cold,
So many secrets untold.
Its hard to keep, havin heart,
When it keeps falling apart.

You (incomplete)

If every picture was worth a thousand words,
Yours would be a never ending story,
If every star had a dozen worlds,
Your eyes would every galaxy..

If every falling star wish came true,
I'll wait the sky fall down and wish for you,
They say you can't reach the speed of light,
So maybe thats why you're always out of my sight,

C-
So maybe I can't afford you,
But I know you're worth it,
So maybe you're too good for words,
I'll just keep singing this song.

They say we'll never understand time,
I understand it stands still when i stand here alone,
They say we won't find the meaning to life,
But somehow i've found you, didn't I?

If anyone could predict disaster,
Mine would be you with another..
They say the worlds goin to end soon,
Without you, It couldn't end soon enough..

They say nobodies perfect,
But for me, I'd think you'd be....

~foreva~

The name of this song is foreva, because it is Foreva...

Her laughter in my ears,
Her warm smile, takes my fears,
She is to me so true and dear,
Just wanna take and hold her near....

Foreva, will hold on forever,
Forever, Foreva,
won't let go ever,
won't let go eva.

Forever, will love her,
Foreva, forever,
Ever i'll love her,
Eva, i love her.

Shes black belt,
My heart melts,
Speaks Chinese,
Translate please?

Shes older, by a year,
But thats a small number,
Cuz shes a small figure,
She a third, and a meter..

Forever, i'll miss her,
Foreva, Forever,
I'll be missin ever,
I'll be missin eva...

forever, foreva,
foreva, forever,

Oh how I love ewe....



=P

Note: Song is entirely cheeky. Just messin with a song idea by using a nice name.

~Waiting~

So I am, here waiting,
For romance in the making,
Can't say it, makes sense,
I just want to hold hands.

From sunrise, til it dies,
You're all I see with my eyes,
Maybe I'm, too obsessed,
Maybe its me you've possesed.

And i'll just, keep waiting,
Til X~X to be my darling,
So what if dreams aren't real,
I'm writing my own fairytale.

Love protects, always trusts,
Theres not much but i must,
Keep hoping, presevering,
Just following this feeling....

C~
And maybe, just maybe,
I'll give up just a little,
When I am old and brittle.

And maybe, just maybe,
This feeling may just waver,
Whe you've found yourself another...

And maybe, just maybe,
I'll hold on a little less,
When you're on the aisle in white dress.

And maybe, just maybe,
I'll throw away the diamond,
When you're at some faraway land.

B~
Forver ain't such a long long while...
To hear your voice and see you smile...


So I'll be here, still waiting,
Even if you're not coming,
Just knowing, You're breathing,
Keeps my heart whole and beating.

And i won't, stop waiting,
Up ain't something i'll be giving,
Will hold you dear, in my heart,
Til I can hold you in my arms....

Mellow-D,

The world is unrelentless, tearing at your soul,
You feel so empty, nothing fills the hole,
When everything crumbles, falls all around,
Close you eyes, take to the sense of sound.....

Jack into headphones jacked into music,
Dive into the bottomless, unfeeling lake,
Of emotions drowned in the lyrics,
Lyrics drowned in neverending mu-sic.....

Then turn it up sooo loud,
You can't hear what they talk about,
Screams, shouting turn to whispers,
Just cuz you can't listen when you can't hear....

Ride the pumping bass with eyes closed,
Leave behind the ones who opposed,
Blind and deaf to shame and sorrow,
Live for this moment, screw tommorow...

Dun let up til all those little voices,
In my head succumb to the noises,
So i can have a little peace of mind,
Conscience shut up, and left behind....

With reckless abandon, on i speed,
Lets keep goin til my ears bleed,
Living in wants and not just needs,
To feed the one inside that feeds...

Peace won't come to me in silence,
Can't help but be someone who listens,
To whispers all around, some in my head,
Voices cold, disturbed, hungry and dead....

...............................................



......... ..............


. . . . . . .
. . . . . . .
.. . . . ..


.....................................



.................................................................


Youhavenotlosttilthatvoiceyouhereinyourheadisyours....

hahahahah

Breaking

Lord I am broken, about to break,
I think this is more then I can take,
I'm falling to pieces, hold me together,
Before I snap, crack, shatter and scatter.

I'm slowly losing out to myself,
None of this can be good for my health,
Noone's hearing what I have to say,
So I'll hold my own hands and pray.

I'm not asking for a miracle,
Can't tell make believe from real,
Don't really care whether the sun shines,
But if I'm not alone, please send a sign.

Lord its dark and its cold,
The world's a cruel joke its getting old,
Give me light Lord, fill the hole,
Inside of me, and make me whole.

I'm drowning in the rising tide,
I'm slowly eaten up inside,
Guilt, remorse, hate, this can't be right,
I've got my inner demons, I need you to fight...

Give me hope Lord, you're the only one I've got,
Give me strength Lord, without you I am naught,
Mercy now, I'm on my knees,
Gracious God please hear my pleas.....

Parting Ways

Every sunrise gives way to sunset,
You’ll be leavin though we've only met.
And we’ll meet again sometime, someplace,
I’ll forgive you, if you don’t know my face.

All we did was grow up,
So don’t feel sorry or sad ,
And please don’t giveup.
Cuz these were the feelings I had.

C-
When you took off, flew off away,
Why did it have to be today,
So many things I wanted to say,
Now I just hold my own hands and pray.

There was no ending, now nowhere to start,
Nothing ever will take your place in my heart,
But I hope you’ve found friends better then I,
Cuz I wasn’t the best though I might try….

Now I eat and I keep breathing,
But I can’t say this is living...
I can clearly remember your smile,
Though I think its been awhile….

In the end cherish every moment we shared,
The deeper it hurts, the deeper I cared,
Keep the memories, the good and the bad,
Memories, happy, angry, funny and sad.

E-
Don’t trust a hope, trust it will decieve you.
“We’ll meet again” I said, though I doubt its true…

Everyone

C-
Everyone I know doesn’t know I know
Everyone I follow doesn’t look behind
Everyone I see won’t meet my eyes
Everyone I find has got somewhere to go
Everyone I talk to doesn’t seem to hear
Everyone I trust won’t have faith in me
Everyone I care for has got someone to care for
Everyone I love has got plenty of love.

And in the end the only one for me is myself.
The only one to join me in sickness and in health
I can’t even really shake my own hands
But I’m the only one who understands

And in the end I’m the only one for myself
The only one to share my tough times and my wealth
I know I can’t look over my shoulders
But I don’t worry ‘bout backstabbers

And from the start I had nothing to lose,
No reason, no sense playin by the rules
But every night I lose a little sleep,
Wishin for someone to treasure and keep.

And from start without purpose or ambition,
No point talking, no one cares to listen,
Just another voice lost to a world of perfection,
Plain, boring, mediocre, screams my reflection.

All along, wished on a falling star,
Was told I won’t make it far,
Underachiever, my own believer,
A one man team, coach and manager.

All along, wishin for something real,
Watch them waiting for me to fail,
Me, myself and I stand loud,
I am three, and three is one big crowd.

b-
And in the end I am is all mine to have
Its not much but no one wants a share
No worries about telling truths,
Can bluff them all but not myself.

End-
But in the end,
All alone I’ll stand,
Everyday, I’ll get a little older,
While the nights get colder,
Living regrets, chances I once passed,
Thinking maybe what if I just asked?

~of one once loved -a poem

See wat you may see,
be wat you may be,
you're not part of me,
nor i a part of thee.

Do wat you may do,
say wat you may say,
i need no part of you,
onli in my yesterday.

Broken shoes go to the cobbler,
Broken glass gets thrown away,
Broken hearts just may get better,
Broken hearts don't go away.

think wat thoughts you may,
feel wat feelings bring,
its sad we are this way,
you said you felt nothing.

misunderstandings happen,
this is earth and not heaven,
scorned a woman i may have,
worse then heaven's is her wrath.

but words are onli words,
you took mine for the worse,
yours cut me worse then swords,
double edged, it was your curse.

now dun live in regret,
or lie awake in bed,
this ending that we've met,
leaves u no place in my head.

for whatever that we had,
and moments that we shared,
know that i don't hate you now,
used to love you blind somehow,

so lets go our seperate ways,
though i've seen better days,
life is too short for regrets,
so don't go cry and fret.

we were never friends,
so don't make any plans,
oh stranger i once knew,

oh how i once loved u...

Don't tell me its Okay

There isn't any space
For tears on your pretty face
To see you crying is a shame
So tell me whats to blame

I don't wanna see you cry,
But if you must just tell me why,
Don't tell me its ok!
I wanna take your pain away

If its something some guy did,
Tell me who, i'll make him bleed!

If its something some girl said,
I'll leave her lying awake in bed!

I can't bear to see you cry,
I can't bear to wonder why,
Don't tell me its ok,
Just let me take your pain away.

If its cuz you and your parents fight,
I'll make them see the light

If you can't find your friends,
I'll be every single one of them.

I won't stand to see you cry,
I won't rest til you tell me why,
Don't tell me its ok,
Cuz you dun hav to carry on this way.

If today just isn't your day,
Tonight I'll take you out to play!

If its cuz nothing went as planned,
I'll turn back time to make it happen.

Now if tears come to your eyes,
I'll take your fears just tell me why,
Don't tell me its ok,
Cuz i'm already on my way....

If its cuz your meatballs onthe floor,
Don't worry, cuz i'll buy you more.

If its cuz your mocking bird wun sing,
I'll buy you nightingales and a diamond ring.

Don't bother with all your fears and insecurities,
Wipe away those tears and your misery,
Along with your makeup that starting to run,
Cuz i'll make you smile and laugh and we'll both hav fun!

onceuponatime

Onceuopnatime, Solongago, I could have sworn i swore i loved you,
Now everyday, in everyway, I have to tell myself I hate you,

How could you be so unkind?
How could I be so blind?
Why did I not see your lies?
Was it 'Cause I closed my eyes?

How can your heart be so damn cold?
Could it be, your soul is sold?
Could this be my own fault?
Into my wound you rub bitter salt!

When you say you don't care all
then my whole world starts to fall
when you say you love him
then all my lights grow dim

Only when I catch my breath
And release these feelings that I have....

Then I scream at everything and anything,
While I tear and fight with air and nothing,
Shouting Curses while i'm swearing!
Breaking things til I lose this feeling.....

...this feeling of hate and anger...